C Ground East: My Beloved BHING (Continued)

C 129 : Shrey Modi

Note: Modi smokes. He probably thinks he looks cool while smoking. Here are the pictures of (1)how he imagines himself looking when he smokes (2)What it looks like to us.

Popular Nicknames : Modi, Shasha, Chuchu, Moda

Quotable Quotes:

Ek-ek kar ke aaoge marne ya ek saath?

Jaimini! Gaad de in sabko!!!

Abey koi Cheddis chalega? (After hearing a no) Saala tu Rao nahin hai yaar!!!


(Note: Just read the previous articles before writing this one and came to remember that I didn't bash Avi as much as others. Now I am a staunch believer in equality. So Avi, sorry dude. Once again)

Meet Shrey Modi. The dude with John Abraham's attitude in Rajpal Yadav's body. He takes inspiration from the world around him, as a result of which he now has a dog's sleep, a donkey's stamina, an owl's nocturnal habits, a rat's alcoholic tolerance (He once got totally smashed after drinking just one beer, fell down from his bed and broke a front tooth - true story) and of course mayank bhagat's appetite. Though these virtues that he has taken up from all these animals (pun intended) have screwed up his life in a very very horrible way, they have also made him the dream employee of all the IT companies. Hence, he manages to find cool things to do, like he did last placement season ;P (buzz me for the inside story).

And though he claims that he will be getting an 8-digit figure when he marries a gal (bikaau saala), I am pretty sure we are gonna face a lot of problems in fixing this pseudo-gult's marriage with another such girl. What kinda problems, you ask? Imagine the famous scene from Sholay, in which Amitabh Bachchan goes to Mausiji to talk about the "rishta". (To watch the scene, click here. Will help you when you compare dialogues). Suppose, one fine day, Modi manages to see beyond his lab and that prof from the Indu Department, and actually likes a gal; and asks any one of the guys (Avi automatically excluded) from ColGatE (Tiwari also excluded, he ain't in ColGatE anymore, courtesy powerpuff girls), then how'd that go? Here is a weirdo's (read : my) impression. (Bouquets and brickbats for the telugu part to be directed to Sudha)

Mausi: Ala unnavu? (How are you?) (I'd just have written "Ent ra" otherwise)

ColGatEian: Bagun nanu. (I am fine)

Mausi: Ab itna to poochhna hi padega ki ladke ka khaandan kya hai? Uske lachchhan kaise hain? Kamaata kitna hai?

ColGatEian: Ab Kamaane ka to ye hai mausi, ki ek baar biwi-bachchon ki zimmedari sir pe aa gayi, to raat raat bhar apne professor ke lab mein rehne ki jagah kisi job ke liye hi apply kar dega.

Mausi: To kya kuchh bhi nahin kamaata?

ColGatEian: Nahin nahin mausi... aisa maine kab kaha. Magar ab roz roz jo prof. isko raat bhar department mein rok leta hai, wo roz project ke paise nahin deta na!

Mausi: Hain? To Professor ka bhi angle hai kya?

ColGatEian: Nahin nahin, magar ek baar jab sutta pila diya na prof ne, to phir raat-din ka kahan hosh rehta hai? Sutta Pila ke rok diya prof ne. Ab isme bechare Modi ki kya galti?

Mausi: Waah beta! Suttebaaz wo, raat ko prof ke saath rukta hai wo, magar galti uski koi nahin?

ColGatEian: Ab mausiji, aisa hai, ki prof to banda hai. Uska tension lene ki zaroorat nahin aapko. Rahi baat bandiyon ki, to shaadi hote hi Avi Jain ke paas jaana band. Bas phir sutta vagairah to yunhi chhoot jayega.

Mausi: Haaye Ram! To ab yahi kami bachi thi? Avi Jain ke paas bhi jaata hai?

ColGatEian: Ab mausiji Avi Jain ke paas to poora ColGatE jaata hai chori-chhupe. Shrey ki galti nahin isme. To main rishta pakka samjhoon?

Mausi: Ledu! No! Never! Now before I throw a bowl of sambhar on you, go away! PO! POOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

ColGatEian: Alright. I am leaving.

Mausi: Ruko.
Jaate jaate Avi Jain ka number aur address dete jaao
(Digression on purpose? You bet!)

Waise frankly speaking, he is sorely missed by all of us. Helping, caring, jovial, the life (and sometimes the death) of all the parties, and most importantly the owner of the wing's only printer; Modi represented the spirit of this Wing. And now with him gone, this wing is never gonna be the same. Even for those of us who are left here. So here is wishing him a life quite opposite to most of what I have written in this blog. Amen!

P.S. 14 over, 3 to go!

Hey There Pupu Chan

My very dear friend TGWTT, who is currently in Grenoble, France for his internship, is basically having a hard time right now. Does not mean that I am particularly enjoying myself all alone in this humid hellhole named KGP, but life does become difficult anywhere without dough (Money). And this is the very problem that tgwtt, whom i lovingly call pappu or pupu chan, is facing in France. To know more, which is important for you in order to understand this post, read his side of the story by clicking here.

So here we were, chatting as he cribbed about his fiscal circumstances there, while I sat in my hostel room listening to this lovely song called Hey there Delilah by a band named Plain White T's. To listen to the song, click here. You can find the lyrics here. Please check these links out, they will help you comprehend and appreciate the post better.

This is the complete version of what I started typing due to the combined effect the two described events. I call it "hey there Pupu Chan"

Hey there Pupu chan

What’s it like in Grenoble city

I am thousands of miles away

And dude, tonight you seem so perky

Yes you do, Gol C can’t shine as bright as you
I swear it’s true

Hey there Pupu Chan

Don’t you worry about the money

When this damned weekend is over

You’ll have glazed donuts and honey

And Chocolate, Rice

I know now you wanna scoop out my eyes

N’ use them as dice

‘Cuz Oh, it’s what you do to me

Oh, it’s what you do to me

Oh, it’s what you do to me

Oh, it’s what you do to me

It’s what you do to me

Hey there Pupu Chan, I know France is just absurd

And all that you get for free there is cow poop and goat turd

That too battered; Fifty cents, if he were here he’d say “Word!”

But don’t you swerve

Hey there Pupu Chan, you’ve got so much more of meat

And all the microwaveable food you have

If right now you could eat , You’d eat it all

The very next day while walking you’d fall

And puke it all

Oh, it’s what you do to me

Oh, it’s what you do to me

Oh, it’s what you do to me

Oh, it’s what you do to me

Your university is pretty far

And they’ve got trains and trams and cars

You might have to walk all the way though

Your friends will all make fun of you

And you’ll just laugh along because you know

That neither of those fuckers have no dough

Pupu Chan, I can promise you

That by the time this week gets through

Your wallet will be bursting with euros

You won’t be morose

Hey there Pupu Chan

You be good and don’t play Akon

Two more days and you’ll have cheese and bacon

While I’ll be making Maggi like I do

You’ll know it’s all because of you

You can send me some of your money too

Hey there Pupu Chan here’s to you

And your gal-pals too

Oh, it’s what you do to me

Oh, it’s what you do to me

Oh, it’s what you do to me

Oh, it’s what you do to me

It’s what you do to me

C Ground East: My Beloved BHING (Continued)

I would have published this one with the rest of the guys, but it was ready, and I already had a special request. So here goes… a special edition.

C 130 : Varun Jain

about the pic : angrez chale gaye, VJ ko chhod gaye kheti karne.

Popular nicknames: VJ, Ganja, Takla, Makhau, ROTLU, All other similar short derogatory words

Quotable Quotes:

Yaar baaki sab to theek tha, maths makh gaya.

Aakhir kheench-taan ke main kisaan ban hi gaya (this, if you ask me, is the saddest statement ever)

Main sutta chhod raha hoon.

Kitna rota hai be!!! (This is what everyone says about him)

Note : [pls do take note of the hyperlink at the end of this para] When I finally started thinking about writing this one (after repeated requests from some very special people), he tried a lot to convince me to write a lot of nice things about him. (read really fast) Shall I? Nai!!!

So here is VJ. When he was a little kid, he liked to eat paper. One day, he ate a whole dictionary-cum-thesaurus. Ever since that day, he keeps puking those words all around. You will get a feel of what it is like once you read his blog. Read any article (barring a few exceptions), and I-shit-you-not, you will feel as if you have just been smacked in the face with a 4000 page deluxe hard-bound edition of the oxford dictionary.

First some good points about him, since he has requested me so much. But in his style.

VJ is a humid, pre-possessing homo-sapien with a full-sized aortic pump. He is not only a great comrade, but also a magnanimous aficionado of existence. He is furthermore blessed with a remarkable sense of hilarity, wittiness and absurdity. Notwithstanding his hairline which is locked in an unswerving cliffhanger of a competition with the ozone layer in terms of recession and depletion, he takes all jokes pertaining to the same with an incredible tang. He also is a tuneful songster, an endowed author and a factual admirer of gorgeousness and splendor in everything surrounding him(This last sentence is supposed to send an alarm to some people).

He has really gone on to prove that quitting smoking is not at all difficult. As a matter of fact, he himself has done it thousands of times. He is now used in cigarette quitting classes all over the world – as an example of what can become of you if you don’t quit. A typical week in his life goes like this:

Monday : Main aaj se sutta chhod raha hoon.

Monday Night: Rao Sutta de yaar.

Tuesday night: Ye mera aakhiri hai. Iske baad kabhi nahin.

Wednesday: Maine kab bola aakhiri tha?

Thursday: Bas saala. Ab chhod diya.

Half an hour later: Abey kisi ke paas sutta hai kya?

Saturday (1 week and countless cigarettes later): Main next week se sutta chhod raha hoon.

Note: You can replace “sutta chhodna” with “gym jaana” and it will be as true. Kabhi nahin jaata kisaan kahin ka. Its actually good that he is not in a dual degree course, otherwise he’sdhave become a fat chain smoker in his 5^th year. Plus, students in Agricultural and Food Engineering Department – I don’t think they even get MTech Stipend... just a pair of bullocks and half an acre of land in Waste Bin-gal.

On a personal note, many of us used to doubt his heterosexuality when we first met him. Our doubts were only strengthened when he became the person to have kissed the most number of seniors during our ragging. That his ass looked like a pendulum swaying with angular amplitude of 45 degrees didn’t help either. However, thanks to some recent developments in his life, we have finally been made to believe that he is not a total gay. Now we are stuck between Straight and Bi.

Jaate jaate ek aur PJ. VJ ko zyada thand kyon lagti hai?

Ans. (read really fast once again) Shawl-hi-nai.

Dekho Maa Stud Aaya

Note: Everything written below is completely made-up and utterly bullshit. Tambay is a wonderful guy, who is really spoilt for choice right now. I could write this article because I know he will take this in good humour, and I expect the same from everyone else (Though something tells me Tapas is gonna be a name of the past after this post... Tambay's gonna kill me)

Acknowledgements: TGWTT and pingu da for coming up with the idea along with me, and TGWTT again for valuable inputs. Also, Nishad for proof reading. And Tambay for being Tambay. And last but not the least, JHIMLI DEVI KI JAI!!!

The name's Shreesh. Chaitanya Shreesh. Tambay Chaitanya Shreesh. Or Chaitanya Shreesh Tambay. Permutations. Combinations. Doesn't really matter.

What really matters is that we all know Tambay. We know he is an absolute stud... an endangered species, if Rahul Jaimini is to be believed. And he keeps proving this every now and then. Be it getting selected in two of the best companies for internship, then kicking ITC in the balls, only to get back for ITC campus interview and being one of the only two people to have cleared it, then becoming the "Probable state topper" in CAT, he keeps having his moments. But there are some ultimate, 'Dekho maa stud aaya' moments that even take him by surprise.

One of such moments was when a lady named Jhimli Mukherjee Panday, apparently smitten with Tambay, decided to make him a national hero by printing his 'misquoted' interview- one dripping with awesomeness- in TOI. Now, he is diligently preparing and appearing for IIM interviews. This makes one wonder: if he now decides to join the IIMs instead of ITC, what would the next interview be like? Here's my guess

(Note- all the puns are completely intended):

IITian ditches ITC, Chooses IIM

14 Apr 2009, 0441 hrs IST, Jhimli Mukherjee Pandey, TNN

Kolkata: In this phase of recession, when IITians are getting rejected by jobs which they earlier didn't even use to consider, the probable state topper in this year's CAT, who also happens to be having a job offer with corporate giant ITC, says he likes the toll and nightouts of the IIM better. In all probability, Chaitanya Tambay of IIT Kharagpur would join an IIM, though he has already received desperate requests from ITC to join in.

The Nagpur boy has just completed four gruelling years at IIT Kharagpur and feels all this hard work should not go down the drain as ITC would offer him an associate managerial profile and a meager pay package of around 12 LPA that would be far below his dignity, self-respect; and above all, his capability. Chaitanya has always been a bright scholar at the mechanical engineering department of IIT Kharagpur and has just bagged a management seat through IIM interviews and is looking forward to joining them soon.


"If I join ITC, then after a few months of training, I would be in charge of production in a factory where I will be expected to remove the petty hurdles at the production level by using my technical knowledge : something which other lesser mortals from my college are also allowed to do. And I might be made to work at a cigarette factory, and I hate cigarettes - so much so that I have actually resolved to burn them all, one-by-one (note from author - :D ). If I take this job over IIM, I will have to subordinate people who would be my superiors just because they passed out before me, which is stupid because they are no match for me. I am not willing to do that at any point in my life." says Chaitanya.

Son of an electrical engineer, who also teaches at NIT, Nagpur, Chaitanya always dreamt of ultimately becoming the owner of a big industry. "I still cherish that dream. For two whole weeks during my seventh semester, I slogged like a mad horse to crack CAT and show them what I've got. Why should I let all this hard work go? At this stage, my aim is to learn more rather than to start earning right now. I would much rather wait now, and earn a lot more two years down the line" he said.

But isn't it a big risk, leaving such a reputed job in the current job-scene? "Look, my dear Jhimli; You have to learn to look at the bigger picture. I always do that. And the truth is that - I don't always want to keep working just like all my friends, like that fatass Tapas and that crapbag Vaibhhav. One day, I want to be the owner of a firm like ITC. And the person on top is never an engineer. He's usually a manager, and always a leader. That is what I am going to become."

Interestingly, TOI had published a report last year on how the state spends about Rs 16 lakhs to train each student at the IITs and how it goes down the drain because most engineers choose to become MBAs then. But Tambay has an irrefutable reply to that, "I will pay those Rs.16 Lakhs back (With interest) to the Goverment of Waste Bengal. Its going to be short change. Believe me."

But why did Chaitanya appear for the ITC interview then? "I always tell people that I needed the job that time. But actually, I just wanted to piss my batchmates off. I wanted to tell them that I can do everything they can, and do it better. That is why I appeared for the internship interviews for both HUL and ITC, cleared both, left ITC, and now again, I took the job that everyone is dying for, and I'll leave it. Just like that. That's what I do, Jhimli.", He says with a wink, and a mischievous smile dancing on his lips.

But I want to know what the real reason is. So I prod him again, and this time, on a more serious note, he says "I never told this to anyone, even not to the losers who I pretend to be friends with. But since its you Jhimli, I'll tell you noting but the truth.I hate cigarettes. Whenever I see someone smoking, something inside me dies, along with their lungs. So I will keep doing this to ITC until and unless they realize their mistakes and stop manufacturing cigarettes." Says the man with the Midas touch. With this, he smiles contently, as he gazes profoundly into the mirror in front of him. And we can understand why - because with him in front, one can see the image of India's future in the mirror.

:(

तमन्ना फिर मचल जाए, अगर तुम मिलने आ जाओ
ये मौसम ही बदल जाए, अगर तुम मिलने आ जाओ...

ये दुनिया भर के झगडे, घर के किस्से, काम की बातें
बला हर एक टल जाए, अगर तुम मिलने आ जाओ

नहीं मिलते हो तुम, तो सब यहाँ हमदर्द हैं मेरे
ज़माना मुझसे जल जाए, अगर तुम मिलने आ जाओ


मुझे ग़म है कि मैंने ज़िन्दगी में कुछ नहीं पाया
ये ग़म दिल से निकल जाए, अगर तुम मिलने आ जाओ...


तमन्ना फिर मचल जाए, अगर तुम मिलने आ जाओ......

MEIKAPisms : OMFG!!!

Professors: they are a strange species. Everyone loves to hate them. Studying in a college where almost nobody gives a shit to what the profs are saying (except for the case of the few good profs who make sense / a few even lesser number of "teacher's pets"), we still discuss them very fondly because many of them are amazing characters.

I agree that a lot of them are atrocious, and to prevent my ears from their ungodly torture, I make all possible efforts not to attend these classes. Call it pusillanimity on my part or just another excuse to miss lectures... I don't give a crocodile's arse. But there was one subject which I was compelled to attend. The classes of an utterly drab and boring subject like Industrial Pollution Control (sounds boring too) suddenly became a must-go. All due to Prof B.C. Meikap.

If you even for a split second thought that the reason behind this is his teaching prowess, slap yourself right now.

The reason why we try not to miss Prof. Bheem Charan Meikap (and believe me, he is the scrawniest person you are even gonna see), is his language. He apparently hails from a small village in Orissa, which is very clear from the strong Oriya accent in his tone; and speaks with a extremely bad grammar and pronunciation. He even takes research scholars from the same area, and within 2 years, they start speaking as amazing english as he does. Right from the first lecture, I got hooked and diligently started noting his quotes down.

When the better of the two professors taking this course, Prof. Sudarshan Neogi, said while explaining about the need of not thinking only about the cost in an industrial process, "If your motive is only the cost, the door of your business will be shut.", I had a hint of how the course was gonna be like. But after listening to Prof. B.C.M., Prof. Neogi just seems like a modern day Shakespearre. Here are some of Prof Meikap's amazing quotes. Sit back and enjoy.

Note: I have changed the spellings of some words to give you an idea of his pronunciations.

1. {When told be a student he couldn't see what was written on the board} I am shorry. Are you unable to she (see) due to my obstacle?
2. Do as I tell and there will be absolutely problem.
3. Shit down here.
4. After the FILLUPing of the form is obhar (over), pleaj to shaabmit.
5. You can also derive this equation from yourself.
6. (notice the use of pronouns) If that is there, then this will happen.
7. (temperature decreases with height) Aj you go up, ice will get.
8. By naturewise, ........
9. (When asked for a break between lectures) Break you would like to take? (Wow that rhymes)
10. Show you she (So you see)
11. Let me to she (let me see)
12. Stability of the piloom (plume) is men-son (mentioned)
13. Apply the law of energy conversion (and I grew up thinking it was conservation of energy. How dumb of me!)
14. (encouraging students to raise their hands high and confidently) (Yes, we are still supposed to "raise" our hands when a question is asked in the class) Raise your hand. Big Hand. If your are conphident you should raise your big hand.
15. You can go and physically she (see) the plant.
16. You go to shentral library from your computer online (online account checking facility)
17. On-bon Car-bon (This is what unburnt carbon sounded like)
18. If gas is black, people will complain OK this plant ij caujing pollution.
19. You can measure the pollutant level by online also.
20. (He uses all the prepositions except the appropriate one. I have heard him say from your own, by your own, with your own, IN your own. In short, everything except on your own)
21. I am handing out this sheet. All of you make it jerox.
22. That adjustment you have to do a little error (Still not sure what it meant)
23. Ij the terminology ij ok phor you?
24. It ij very negligible- of 9 metres wide.
25. 99% of it will be catch hold (Caught hold of was what he meant)
26. Make the shy-lens (Silence)
27. Ij it under-ishtand-a-bull (Understandable)
28. Notice the abjorb-a-son (absorption) of ash-o-two (SO2 or sulphur dioxide) and the Q-she-she (QCC) of the liquid.
29. You look the problem. Salai repeat? (Shall I repeat)

And the best one

30. (Looking at a girl and asking while teaching about ash content) Saapoj (suppose) you have 40 kg of ass (ash). Can you phind out the percentage ass content?

Despite of all this, I wasn't thinking of blogging about this. I started to give it a thought when I went to collect a problem statement from a research scholar working under him (who, by the way, is at the same level of communication skills by now). I was just gonna decide against writing the post when this guy caught me staring somewhere blankly. The next thing that he said was, "Aeee what are you doing? Put your eye contact here."

Twelve hours after that happened, I am ready with this post.

P.S. All the readers are requested to pitch in with their favorite professors quotes in the comments section. And my dear chem-dep junta, please add up any Meikapisms that I might have missed.

C Ground East: My Beloved BHING (Continued)

C 134 : Anshuman Tiwari

Popular nicknames: Tiwari, Anshu

Quotable Quotes:
Chalo be charne!!! (usually akele hi jaata hai, Which is the reason why i chose the pic of a solitary donkey grazing.)
Chalo be _____ maar ke aate hain. (fill up the blank with lunch/dinner/snacks/breakfast/tea etc)

Before I start with the usual Tiwari bashing, which is a ritual practised by the whole wing now, not just as a passtime but almost as a profession; I would like to state some ground facts about him. This guy is a totally kickass person whom you can rely upon anytime. He is a very simple guy, far removed from the kameenapan that people seem to indulge so fondly into. A fun-loving person, he takes up all the lame jokes made on him with a smile, and usually has the last word.

He is a completely changed person though, when in company of any member of the fairer sex, very adapting to their ways (my version) / a little effeminate (junta version). As a result, he has a large female following, and is hugely consulted by girls for advice about all things testosterone for the real skinny (well, advice about guy matters for gals).

Now I will start with my quota of tiwari bashing, as he is, after all, a very important constituent of the wing: the Punchbag.

Tiwari is treated as the Nuck Chorris of the wing, i.e., a Chuck Norris gone badly and wilfully spoonered. All the derogatory things can be proverbially done by Tiwari. e.g.

1. There is no 'ctrl' button on Tiwari's computer. Tiwari is always out of control.
2. Tiwari can see everyone. If you can not see him, he might be stuck in the girl's toilet of the institute building.
3. Tiwari sends himself e-cards on his birthday. He always acts surprised upon receiving them.
4. Tiwari ki Modi bhi le leta hai.

And as for the girl in your life, there there, Tiwari. We will find you a new one. In fact, I already found one for you. Tu jab bhi bolega, ye tere saath charne chalegi, khushi khushi. Bol, Ahsaan maanta hai???



C 133: B. Ajit Teja


Popular Nicknames: Teja, Khabya (God knows why), Tejito Mahamara

Quotable quotes

1. M*****c*** hum C*****e hain?
2. ITC ne ek bhi manufacturing waale ko nahin liya yaar.
3. HUL ne kaat diya bhai.
4. Reliance waalon ne gajjab beijjati ki hai bhai.
5. Saala koi meri branch ko branch maanne ko taiyyar hi kyon nahin hai?

This is Teja. The SSM of LLR Hall of Residence. I think he is the one among all of who has undergone the biggest transition during his stay in KGP. 2 saal mein hi poltu ho gaya saala!!!

Teja is so skinny that the international bureau of standards uses his side pose as the definition of a straight line (zero thickness). He also has the dubious distinction of being Ramu's favorite student.He always finds ways to keep him busy, and has an awesome hall tempo. Har jagah pe tempo dikha dikha ke kabhi kabhi apni hi maar leta hai.


Also, don't ever trust him as an alarm.You can trust him with your money, though. Your money will be safe with him. Forever. Even from you. So if you decide to loan him some money, look at the note as if it is the last time you are ever gonna get to see it, and then forget it was ever with you. Thinking about it/asking for it is only gonna be met with shameless smiles.

Btw, he will ask you to call him Ajit Khabya (He claims this is his real name. These SSMs are crazy). Don't listen to him. Once a Teja, ever a Teja.


C 132: Rahul Jaimini (Bundelkhand ki Jaan) (And hence the pic of a bundelkhandi kisaan with white hair)


Popular nicknames: Dada, Jaimini

Quotable quotes

1. Shivpuri se panga mat lo.
2. Chhaliya chhaliya chhaliya (used by him as an effective retaliation against any kind of argument, often accompanied by vulgar hip movements)
3. Subramanyam tell him!!!

He lives life on his own terms. The only problem is: his terms keep changing. Today he will have a nasty fight with you because you express your desire to do your Ph.D. from a foreign univ, and the very next day you find him standing in the line for visa form. He has seen a lot in his life, including hairfall and hair whitening. He is the only one amongst us who can say "ye baal maine dhoop mein safed nahin kiye hain", and mean every word of it. He has a lot of talent in a plethora of fields. I wish he'd start to use it. Iski aur luunga to muhje chhodega nahin... colgate ke members ko comments mein iski maarne ka khulla nimantran hai.


C 131: Avi Jain

Popular nicknames: Gora suar, gulaabo, jain saahab

Here is the only person in the wing who can carry off a pink t-shirt and a hello kitty backpack with ease. Actually, I think this might complete his look. He already has many of those qualities: a fairness level matches only by lux models, blonde hair (well, almost) and if you believe dada, he's got the whole package (well, well). Even in dramatics, he usually is offered with female roles (being a cute guy in a guy's hostel can be tricky). And on the rare occasions when he is actually offered a guy's role, the dialogues play cruel jokes with him (e.g.: I have raised a python upon my breast :P )

But he is pretty headstrong (Pretty and headstrong is apt too) and extremely hardworking, and I think he will go places in his life. Bas ek baat. bandi pata le yaar... logon ka shak khatm ho jaayega :)
Rest assured, one of the very few nice people left in this world.


Ab bas 5 bache... :)

C Ground East: My Beloved BHING ... continued

BEST READ IN INTERNET EXPLORER (due to the transliterated section)

C 138: Akash Agarwal

Popular Nicknames: Halu

Quotable Quotes:

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA (That’s what it sounds like. What it actually is, is YAWWWWNNNN)

Before you start reading, I want you all to notice the pics of an artiste's impression of Akash's present and future.

A very sweet, affable and highly animated person- His facial expressions for the mildest conditions can put Rajnikanth to shame. He is also a tech God and a highly dedicated and sentimentally attached robotix head. Above all he is a very nice and caring friend.

And you know what I like the best about him? He is a verzzzzzz zzzzzzzzzzzzz zzzzzzzzzzz snores snores grunt zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

(alright… let me explain what happened here. I was thinking what to write about him… and I tried to put myself into his shoes to understand what I must write. As soon as I got into Akash mode, the inevitable happened. I slept. My wingies shall understand)
zzzzzzzzzzz kharrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz……

(Help me here people. When he sleeps, I usually rely on a swift kick on his butt to wake him up. Now how the hell do I kick my own butt? Anatomically impossible. Please wake me up people…)

C 137: Deepak Abraham Cherian

Popular Nickname: DC

Quotable quotes:

Awekassam Baap!!!

Abey what does ______ (any hindi word worth its salt) mean?

It means _______ (any English word which is not what the corresponsing hindi word means) na???

(Back when he had a goatee and long hair as shown in the pic) I look like an out of job pimp. (Notice the difference before and after the transition in the pics)

दीपक चेरियन इस wing का एक अत्यन्त ही प्रतिभाशाली (talented) और प्रिय (dear) नमूना (sample) है. संगीत (music) के मामले में इसकी गिनती अत्यन्त (extremely) ही गुणी (virtuoso) वादकों (players) में की जाती है. यह जब अंग्रेजी बोलना या लिखना आरंभ (start) करता है तो ऐसा लगता है मानो शब्दकोष (dictionary) चबा कर के जुगाली (ruminate) कर रहा हो. यह हमारे साथ रहना आया था तब हिन्दी भाषा में इसकी जानकारी नगण्य (negligible) थी परन्तु अब एक अद्भुत (amazing) प्रेरणा (inspiration) के चलते यह बालक हिन्दी में ही बोलता, सुनता, खाता-पीता और चलता है. हिन्दी संगीत भी सुनता है, हिन्दी चल-चित्र (movies) देखता है। एक दिन उडी में आ के बेचारा गीतांजलि पढने भी बैठा था. 4 lines में ही यह समझ गया की अभी ऐसे दिन नहीं आए हैं. इसके प्रयास के चलते मैंने सोचा कि इसके लिए मैं भी हिन्दी में ही लिखूँ.

If there does exist a balance in nature and the universe, some Pandit Trivedi's son named Dinanath Hariprasad Eknath Sadashiv Onkar Trivedi (fictitious) in Haridwar is singing on the banks of river Ganga listening to Megadeth, reading Ayn Rand while everyone else around him is trying to figure out what went wrong.

P।S. Beware of him, he is the one who used to oil his beard, christened it (him, he objects strongly) Johnny and used to talk to it (him).

C 136: Pratik Mehta

Popular Nicknames: Dadi, Mehta

Quotable quotes:

Abey eastern Groups mein kat gaya!!! (after eastern groups)

Abey Drams mein kat gaya. (after the result)

Abey apna kat gaya. (after the elections)

Abey phir kat gaya!!! (After western groups)

Kitna Katega??? (During GC)

Ab nahin kat sakta. Muhahahaha!!! (After the end of GC)

Saala lagta hai history mein apne hall ke sabse kam points mere hi tenure mein aaye hain.

Pre-text : I could not think of any pic for him. So here is a pic of an anime dadi (manipuri bhi ho sakti hai).

Meet Pratik Mehta. The Gsec Soc-&-Cult (Akhandal suggested otherwise) of our batch. Others have a fatherly figure in their lives, but our wing is blessed with a grandmotherly figure. He is the GAWD of eating out… Kahin ke liye bhi company chahiye,dadi se puuchho. A very helping and caring person. Koi bhi beemaar ho, BC Roy yehi le ke jaata hai. He is also a sucker for animes. I don't think he even checks if it is actually anime. If he sees that kind of animation, characters and languages, he downloads and watches the series without even thinking twice. I sometimes feel that if he does some research on what he has watched, he will find out that half of what he saw were term assignments of Manipur and Sikkim based animation institutes.

He is also a person whose musical prowess is out of question. He displayed his awesome talent and sense of music (hehehehe) when he sang a legendary Nirvana song in the fresher’s event. Seniors understood that he can do anything (huihuihui) when It comes to music. The hall needed a drummer that time, so he started learning drums. Very soon he started playing faster than the one who taught him. Recently he played for Dream Theater in the absence of Mike Portnoy. Hahahahaha.

He started learning, and then stopped practicing. If he doesn’t start again soon enough, I am gonna kick his ass. Period.

C 136: Anikh ‘Ban Kar duunga’ Thakur

Popular nicknames: Thakur

Quotable quotes:

You have been kicked out.

Mujhe chhote kutton se dar lagta hai. Lagta hai jhool jaayenge apne daaton ke sahaare.

Dhachad Dhachad Dhachad. (I shudder to remember the reference)

Tapas, main Daruu maar liya huun. Ab main bakwaas karuunga. Tu baad mein meri lena nahin in sab baaton pe.

The remaining ones are not suitable to be shared on a public website which might be read by under-aged kids and adventurous eager perverts.

Now here is a character with some character. “Aadmi ki zubaan patthar pe lakeer hoti hai” is one proverb which he takes very seriously in life. Even if he has said something rubbish, he will defend it at any cost. An extremely headstrong, well read and outspoken guy, he makes it pretty difficult for any stranger to like him. But once you get close enough to him, you will discover what an awesome person he is.

I have always said that if the choice in hand is being on his side or being on the other side, then I am thankful to god for being his friend.

One more thing… he is an extremely fun-loving and food loving person. And handsome too… I tried to make him realize this a lot, but then came his views about girls and relationships. And I understood that he is better off with us.

Keep checking this space for more updates… 8 down, 9 to go.

C Ground East: My Beloved BHING

COLGATE: I owe this one to you.

And people: well, here is your chance to know this wing (why someone would want something like that is still something to wonder, though) and the resident evil, toilet to toilet (end to end).

C 142: Mayank Bhagat

Popular nicknames: Maggu, Lucky (ye waala sirf naam hi hai)

Quotable Quotes:

Abey main psych ho raha huun!!!

Our beloved Maggu… weighs a few ounces and most of that mass is comprised by his brain (And also by his teeth and hair). He is the kind of person who needs clothes not only to cover his body but also to keep him on the ground in the presence of a strong breeze. Though he spends most of his time cooped up in his room with his P.C., books, books and more books, he too has his bright moments (You don’t believe me? Whole of COLGATE remembers his Saawariya movie review.). He also gets very nervous and tensed whenever someone tells him about him long impending stay in Delhi and/or Chandigarh.

Although he dives into his sea of books like a squirrel with a nut at the slightest possible provocation, the whole wing admires him for his hard work and the sheer audacity with which he endures Rao and his songs day in and day out.

P.S. Ishwar iski aur Avi ki Jodi salaamat rakhe.

C 141: R. Abhishek Rao

Popular nicknames: Rao, Shekhu, Rahuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

Quotable quotes:

Peeeeeeeaaaaaaace hai beyyyyyyyyy…….

Rao. Calling his name out loud thrice can make even insomniacs sleep- such is the laid back air that this guy manages to bring in with him. He is one of those unlucky superbrains who do not give a heck about it. In fact, there is only one thing/person who is capable of bringing those wrinkles on his forehead, and she doesn’t leave any opportunity to do so. God bless her!!!

The wing is also divided over his musical prowess. Though he is no professional, but there are people like me who think that he is India’s answer to Kurt Cobain. Due to his unwillingness to move his butt, he is the butt of many jokes in the wing, but he is an awesome person in general and a great company.

Also notice that his initials are R.A.R. which makes a rao fart a RARified gas.

C 140: Nishad Kenkre

Popular nicknames: Nish, Kenkre, Stud, Bachcha, Dhokhebaaz, Gaddar (and all the synonyms)

Quotable quotes:

Abey phone mein balance hai kya? (earlier)

Main tikka ja raha huun. (now)

Kuchh Godgiri hai be!!! (always)

Tu sahi bola tha Tapas! (Universal truth)

Meet Mr. Nishad Vishwas Kenkre (or Kenkre Nishad Vishwas, or as per his NCC badge, Nishad Kenicre). This guy is good in academics, an awesome vocalist, a dedicated Kshitij head, a Gymkhana VP candidate (sigh!!!), an athlete, a good communicator…. And what not!!!

He used to be the stud mascot in the wing (“Tu to absolute stud hai bhai, tere saamne main 0.1stud bhi nahin huun.” : Rahul Jaimini to Nishad). Everything was going fine, until one day he developed a liking for sweet tea. The liking turned into an addiction, and soon enough tea was the only thing that occupied his mind. Our wing finally lost a great person and friend to tea. We miss you very much, Kenkre da. Subuk Subuk.

P.S. Good luck for the future J

C 139: Totally Anomic Pompous ASs Since He Settled In Vich (which) Ascertains & Totally Assures Valediction (Join the capital letters, or just don’t care.)

Popular nicknames: Sapat

Quotable Quotes:

Eiffel Tower.

He gave up his extremely lucrative career in Gemini Circus and embarked upon the whole IIT bandwagon. He moved to KGP for the same on 20^th July, 2008. Geological reports confirm that this was the day when the earth’s center of gravity moved significantly towards west Bengal. He still makes a lot of money working for a lot of personality development classes: As an example of a bad personality.

He loves music a lot. He once said that if he’s left in a desert with an I-Pod and a charger and a power point, he’d die without a complain. That was the day when his friends like Nishad Kenkre and Akash Agarwal started to collect funds to buy him an I-Pod and a flight ticket to Sahara desert. He is really thankful to have such friends.

This guy really used to be into sports until one day, some people on the basketball court tried to throw him into the basket after not finding anything else resembling a ball. So now he is really scared of all the ball games. These days, he is really getting into sumo wrestling. Let’s see how far this goes.

REMAINING WINGIES IN THE COMING ARTICLES

पगली

Note: best viewed in internet explorer.
Written after listening to a friend's feelings for a girl.

वो लड़की जब अपने हाथों की मेहँदी को दिखलाती है
वो हंसी जो उसके होंठों से आंखों तक फैली जाती है
और चेहरे पे उसके आती है हया की सुर्खी सी रंगत
तब मैं मन में अपनी किस्मत से शिकवे कराने लगता हूँ

जब वो लड़ती है और मेरे रुकने की जिद कर जाती है
और फिर मुझको बेचैन देख कर मन ही मन मुस्काती है
फिर दांतों के कोने से जब आँचल को सीने लगती है
उसका ये रूप न जाने क्यों आंखों में भरने लगता हूँ

यूँ तो भोली है, पगली है, सीधी और अनजान है वो,
ऐसे में पर लगता है क्यों की शायद मेरी जान है वो
उसकी मेहँदी में क्यों अपना ही नाम दिखाई देता है
क्यों उसकी हर एक बात को ही मैं प्यार समझने लगता हूँ

क्या बात है दिल में क्या जानूँ, क्यों सोच में पड़ने लगता हूँ
अब तो अक्सर उस से क्या, अपने आप से डरने लगता हूँ
अब जब चुभती है बात वही, या दर्द से मरने लगता हूँ
तब चाँद से बातें करता हूँ और रात से लड़ने लगता हूँ
तब चाँद से बातें करता हूँ और रात से लड़ने लगता हूँ

A usual conversation between TNNNG and TGWTT

Yours truly tnnng (the no-(no non-sense) guy) and his very dear friend tgwtt (the guy who typed this) are, and everyone who knows both of us is bound to agree, two of the craziest people in this crazy town(?). Over time, we have completely lost our ability to have a sane conversation. And when we chat 4 hours before an examination which is bound to screw us both, things really start to get weird. Here is a piece of our chat, just hours before the last exam in the end semesters of our 5th sem.

Note: tgwtt is quite well versed with french, while all i know about is the eiffel tower (which is not called that by the french anyway, Prabhu tells me)

tnnng: yaad mat dila

srsly

how screwed up chats have we had

tgwtt: :| u asking ME?!

10:33 AM tnnng: i forgot the exclamation marks

tgwtt: oh..

tnnng: how screwed up chats we have had!!!

tgwtt: anwyay.. i think i should shut down compu for 3 hrs now..

tnnng: i cant

have to read up on html

tgwtt: last 3 hrs...going by the fact that i have wasted tooo much time!

yo!

tnnng: because you guys turned out to be dhokhebaaz

tgwtt: stud da

wtf?

10:34 AM tnnng: you were supposed to teach me

tgwtt: :|

10:35 AMtnnng: tries to remind tgwtt of his duties

tgwtt: no duties, i don't want these!! how about gals?

10:36 AM tnnng: reminds tgwtt of his geographical location and the sex ratio therein

tgwtt: dont remind me of the sex ratio

according to statistics, midnapore has the highest in bengal

:|

10:37 AM tnnng: quotes some unknown bastard and says, "Facts don't cease to exist even if they are ignored"

10:38 AM tgwtt: quotes himself, since he isn't as well read as tnnng, " throw facts out of the window if they dont pertain to reality"

10:39 AM tnnng: shows an unusually straight middle finger and despises tgwtt for indirectly making fun of tnnng
also reminds him that according to his school teacher's lingo, you throw the window out of the facts and not the the other way round

10:40 AM tgwtt: is perplexed as usual... but realises that linux users follow tnnng's school teacher's philosophy (this is supposed to be a pj on the whole linux versus windows thingy).

10:41 AM tnnng: feigns ignorance about linux or for that matter any OS, and thereby claims that tgwtt is a ishtud... also asks about the whereabouts of bhabhi.

10:42 AM tgwtt: realises that tnnng is being a bigger saidist than himself and feels threatened... decides to end the discussion and curl up in a corner

10:43 AM tnnng: comes to a realisation that he is about to flunk today's exam, hence implores tgwtt in the name of god to stop this healthy discussion regarding out joblessness and pitiable condition.
also suggests a serving or two of mushroom chicken for dinner.

our***

10:44 AM tnnng: is thinking about flunking the exam and saying, "man can i pass now!!!"

10:45 AM tgwtt: figuratively smacks tnnng in the noggin

tnnng: the answer is no

tnnng: bids adieu

tgwtt: bids adieu +1

tnnng: wishes good luck and good riddance for the exam

10:46 AM tgwtt: tries to act sophisticated by saying 'toi aussi' (you too)

10:47 AM tnnng: is once again hurt for being reminded of his ignorance... slowly and painfully mutters eiffel tower , curls up in a corner and weeps silently.

10:48 AM tgwtt: literally smacks tnnng's eiffel tower and says, g'day

10:49 AM tnnng: still weeping, wishes tgwtt back just for the sake of courtesy

10:50 AM tgwtt: the cold bastard that he is, decides that he shalt not weep, and wishes tnnng all the best

tgwtt: says final good bye before 1400 hrs

tnnng: reminds tgwtt that he has to remind tnnng about his icard

10:51 AM but he remembers so no need, over and out

so no need***

tgwtt: utters an incoherent expleteive to the effect of 'holy fuck!'

tgwtt apologises for frgetting to keep a reminder...

10:52 AM tnnng: over and out

HARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

Sorry for sharing my weird life with you and your welcome if anyone who was intending to commit suicide decides to live realizing that there are people with sadder lives than self. We take no responsibility of anyone who loses his mental stablity after reading this, though. Interested readers may ask for more such chats. The ones who come to like this chat are advised to see a shrink.