Sunday, August 12, 2007

Birthday Wishes

Dear Anshi...

Almost five months have passed after your demise. All this time has helped me to realize what a great healer time really is. I still smile, crack P.J.s, my behavior still is incessantly idiotic; just like I did all those years which have now passed. But sometimes, I can't understand how I didn't lose my sense of humour, which i expected i would. Still, life moves on. It pains some times though.

I still feel a terrible amount of pain whenever I see that last letter, whenever I imagine your pain, and whenever my mind registers that you could have still been alive had luck been favoring you . I still feel bad that even today, our common friends are just concerned if I did that because I felt "that" way for you, and when they refuse to believe me when I say that I just did it for a very dear friend, just for old times' sake. I don't care anymore. Because I am now just content with the fact that my feelings for you were really pure, and you knew that anyway.

Anyway, this is your birthday. You would have been 20 today. So congrats. My gift is that with this post, I complete all your last wishes. I was so waiting for this day to come... writing this post relieves me off a humungous burden. The only one remaining is that nobody gets to see your last letter except me, and I shall take care of that.

There is another gift that I shall be presenting you with... through those 100-odd orphans at the orphanage. And I know I'd be able to see a small proportion of the joy, that I had because of your friendship, in their eyes.

I have been compelled to write about some topics, which I'd have otherwise kept private, because of your last wish. And this is the end of it. I will never write about you on this blog anymore, but I am quite sure that no matter whatever I say, write or sing throughout my life, it will have a part of Anshita Sharma in it. Because it is friends like you who complete even such highly imperfect and good-for-nothing guys like me. And you shall continue to do that forever. You will be a part of my memory, and no amount of time can take this away.

And lastly, I have now understood the meaning of a sentence that you once said. I didn't think it was such a marvelous and true thought when you first told me, but now, I totally agree with you and thank you for teaching me one of the most important lessons that I am ever going to learn in my entire life..

You were correct.

It is not important to stay together, It's just important to be together.