Friday, October 23, 2009


Suddenly found myself missing people, who are also currently missing from KGP.

I miss Nishad for being just the most caring, spirited and simply the most wonderful buddy anyone can ever hope for. I miss the awesome night-outs that we spent deifying some musicians, lambasting some others, or just generally bhaating. I miss rooting for him during WTMS productions and inter-halls, and him cheering me up during ETMS productions. I am also sorry for failing to be the same to him that one time, but I hope he knows that was completely unintentional, and it’d be completely different had I known how bad he would feel about it.

I miss Deepthi and watching her with Nishad almost every time when I went out for a walk, and literally every time that I went to eat out, all waving and smiling warmly as I thought to myself, “Man this girl talks funnily (yes, it’s a word) sometimes, but she really is amazing.”

I miss Chatty da for his extremely warm nature and his sense of humour that was ageing like fine wine, till one day when it suddenly started ageing like milk. I also miss him for the way we used to gang up against Pappu to make his life miserable, taunting him for everything under the sun, and for something that were above it as well. I miss him for the widely interspersed funda sessions that usually emerged out of nowhere, starting with, "Duude!". I miss him because of "dekho maa stud aaya". I can't crib much here, because Jhimli probably misses him more than I do, and is going to cry bitterly when she reads this post.

I miss Rauuuu da for being the most comforting soul around, and for putting a smile on my face every time I felt stressed out, frustrated, or simply bored during the past couple of years.

I miss Maggu for the random midnight bhaat sessions involving extremely profound thoughts about nothing, and for him watching a stupid silly TV soap named ‘Dill mill gaye” (Hearts went through a milling maching) just because it had a character named Mayank, who was a topper and upon whom the hottest girl of the college had a crush.

I miss Anikh 'Ban kar doonga' Thakur for the awesome webcomic suggestions, his incessant bakar on DC mainchat, usually ending with him kennylizing people, for his ability to make lewd jokes out of almost everything, and for Dhachad3 .

I miss Avi for reminding me time-and-again, that good people are not totally extinct yet (Also for frequent patronizing sessions, and for making the use of the shutdown key on maggu’s keyboard)

I miss Modi for being a totall goofball 24*7, cracking as well as coughing up jokes very gracefully, and seeming casually heedless towards everything except his prof, but then invariably being the first one to get your back when you needed a friend around.

I miss VJ for being a finance-funda-counter, and for having a blog that kept reminding me that I am still an outsider to the English language. I miss Sushil for his (over)modesty, and his frequent Butters moments. I miss Singhal for being the JLo of the wing, which often translated to being the butt (pun intended) of all jokes during the wing treats.

I miss Shreevant for encouraging us (a lot of girls miss him too, but their reasons are different), Varun (Achar) for inspiring us and teaching me most of what I know about singing, Singhi for his awesome skills (apart from all the GPL Conspiracies against him that kept us busy, and the baskets of apples his parents sent him every weekend) and Surd for being (Ab)Surd in general.

I miss Dash, Prao, Akhandal, Shreevant (another mention) Aayu, and last but not the least, AKC (his nutjobbery was also a contributing factor though) for being some of the most wonderful seniors humanly possible. I miss Kapish da for always helping me out, and being very nice and polite to me, even though I never got to know him all that well. I miss Saurav Dutta for “Phaack you Phaakaar”.

I miss Shailvee for being so nice and so frank all the time. I miss Pathok because I don’t get to suddenly scream “Pathoooook” anymore.

I miss Bhati for showing me that there hope and optimism ranks much higher than grades. I miss Pushpendra for being such an awesome person, apart from being a diligent student who never got his due while others who copied assignments from him went places. I hope he makes it big in life, because he deserves it. I miss Bhadani for being the person who distracted the professors when nobody wanted to answer them. I miss Adi for his poltu, and his being chafed when I mentioned the same at the departmental farewell function. I miss Ketan for being TEH stud, and for committing the act of studaapa just after convincing the people around him that he won’t be able to do it. I miss Fachcha for being the Mr. Know-all of the Department. I miss Kathel for being Kathel, apart from being my friend imported from Bhopal, who helped me at times when I really needed help. I miss Arpit and Kanhaiya for being such awesome people, whom I unfortunately got to know very little, and that too only during the last semester. I miss Shadab for being just the politest person ever.

I miss Piyush, because of the camaraderie that we shared, despite of us being as different from each other on every level as is possible (except for our shared love for music). I miss his halu expressions and all the different kinds of weird, strange sounds that he could make. I miss Puja for being the nicest girl I have ever met, apart from being the girl I most enjoyed eating out with, and the only girl I know who has an awesome handshake. I also miss her for the enormous amount of faith and confidence that she had in me, and in all her friends in general. I miss Arpita because of the first 1 year that I spent around her, trying to make small talk at best, always afraid of being scolded (kinda), and then for spending the coming following two years trying find excuses to hang out with her, basically because of the cord that we struck with each other, and because she is such an awesome company when you wanna hang out. I miss the way Dhiman’s eyes lit up whenever he used to come up with that amazing surprise for his girl which I could never even think of, and the way only he can.

I miss Tembe for being my first friend in KGP, for always giving that warm smile whenever I waved at him, and for the awesome job-cum-first-year-group-get-together treat. I miss Cake because he is largely unavailable now, and I miss Pastry just because I know Cake misses her (and I am not talking about desserts. I love food, not that much)

And I am worried about the same time next year, because I know that this list is only going to grow - astronomically.

Monday, October 19, 2009

The Duck Incident

Note: Please keep clicking on the hyperlinks provided.

It looks like a duck. It walks like a duck. It quacks like a duck.

The responses:-

Average Joe: It is a duck.

A Symbolic Logic student: Saying that it is a duck will make a strong inductive argument.

Engineering Student: I think I will be able to answer you a night before the examination.

Doctor: Might be a duck. But since this is tter of life and death, I suggest you carry out these tests worth 50k-odd bucks on the found creature.

Lawyer: Since it looks, walks and quacks like a duck, it is very apparent that it is not a duck.

Australian: It is either a crocodile or a kangaroo, mayyte.

Restauranteur: Lemme check. If it is, indeed, a duck, I shall run a duck special on the menu today.

Bong Restauranteur: Aagaar daak (duck) hoga to kaal (kal) banega dada. Aaaj daak naaai hoga.

Bong Politician: Cholbe na! Eta Cholbe na! Daak pe atyachaar cholbe na! Strike korbo!!! Aamaara Red chair aur Loudspeakaar laao!!!

MJ: This question is eegnorant!


Pamela Anderson: Well I don’t exactly knowwww what a duck is, but if it is an animal, and they are studying it, then this is cruelty. I shall design a nude campaign with PETA on this issue to save my plummeting popularity levels the poor ducks.

Dumb blonde (except Pamela Anderson): I personally believe that US Americans can not answer this question because some people out there in our nation do not have ducks. And we should help the ducks in countries such as the Iraq and in South Africa and everywhere like such as AND I feel that the ducks in the US should help the US or should help the Iraq and other Asian countries and hence.

Thakur: Dhachad Dhachad Dhachad

Vaibhhav Sinha: Dude! The ignominy of the promiscuity of the illicit nature of the citing of the said quadruped, coupled with your pusillanimity discernible from this act of showing incomprehensible interest in a creature of sub-human intelligence followed by presenting me with such a pathetic query showcases your inability to add 2 and 2 to come up with the correct answer of 4.75. (Intentional use of incomprehensible language? You bet! Dude scored 740 in GRE verbal section. Intentional calculation mistake? Right again!!! 740 in GRE quant section!!!This is something he still ReGREts) (Don't worry if the first few lines don't make sense to you. If you understand his statement completely, then it's probably not his statement to begin with.)

Chef Brian: Aah! A roster! The tomatoes of my brain are mighty pleased. WTF, you ask?Aah... the meaning of life! Mashed potatoes minus stale socks equals "The fuck". Learn.

KGP Prof (and I shit you not): We know that it is not a duck, but since we have to assume something, let us assume that it is a duck.

Haiku Writer: Duck or dog or goat / Unless it can eat you up / What's the friggin' point mate?