Tuesday, June 10, 2008

C Ground East: My Beloved BHING (Continued)

C 134 : Anshuman Tiwari

Popular nicknames: Tiwari, Anshu

Quotable Quotes:
Chalo be charne!!! (usually akele hi jaata hai, Which is the reason why i chose the pic of a solitary donkey grazing.)
Chalo be _____ maar ke aate hain. (fill up the blank with lunch/dinner/snacks/breakfast/tea etc)

Before I start with the usual Tiwari bashing, which is a ritual practised by the whole wing now, not just as a passtime but almost as a profession; I would like to state some ground facts about him. This guy is a totally kickass person whom you can rely upon anytime. He is a very simple guy, far removed from the kameenapan that people seem to indulge so fondly into. A fun-loving person, he takes up all the lame jokes made on him with a smile, and usually has the last word.

He is a completely changed person though, when in company of any member of the fairer sex, very adapting to their ways (my version) / a little effeminate (junta version). As a result, he has a large female following, and is hugely consulted by girls for advice about all things testosterone for the real skinny (well, advice about guy matters for gals).

Now I will start with my quota of tiwari bashing, as he is, after all, a very important constituent of the wing: the Punchbag.

Tiwari is treated as the Nuck Chorris of the wing, i.e., a Chuck Norris gone badly and wilfully spoonered. All the derogatory things can be proverbially done by Tiwari. e.g.

  1. There is no 'ctrl' button on Tiwari's computer. Tiwari is always out of control.
  2. Tiwari can see everyone. If you can not see him, he might be stuck in the girl's toilet of the institute building.
  3. Tiwari sends himself e-cards on his birthday. He always acts surprised upon receiving them.
  4. Tiwari ki Modi bhi le leta hai.
And as for the girl in your life, there there, Tiwari. We will find you a new one. In fact, I already found one for you. Tu jab bhi bolega, ye tere saath charne chalegi, khushi khushi. Bol, Ahsaan maanta hai???



C 133: B. Ajit Teja


Popular Nicknames: Teja, Khabya (God knows why), Tejito Mahamara

Quotable quotes
  1. M*****c*** hum C*****e hain?
  2. ITC ne ek bhi manufacturing waale ko nahin liya yaar.
  3. HUL ne kaat diya bhai.
  4. Reliance waalon ne gajjab beijjati ki hai bhai.
  5. Saala koi meri branch ko branch maanne ko taiyyar hi kyon nahin hai?
This is Teja. The SSM of LLR Hall of Residence. I think he is the one among all of who has undergone the biggest transition during his stay in KGP. 2 saal mein hi poltu ho gaya saala!!!

Teja is so skinny that the international bureau of standards uses his side pose as the definition of a straight line (zero thickness). He also has the dubious distinction of being Ramu's favorite student.He always finds ways to keep him busy, and has an awesome hall tempo. Har jagah pe tempo dikha dikha ke kabhi kabhi apni hi maar leta hai.


Also, don't ever trust him as an alarm.You can trust him with your money, though. Your money will be safe with him. Forever. Even from you. So if you decide to loan him some money, look at the note as if it is the last time you are ever gonna get to see it, and then forget it was ever with you. Thinking about it/asking for it is only gonna be met with shameless smiles.

Btw, he will ask you to call him Ajit Khabya (He claims this is his real name. These SSMs are crazy). Don't listen to him. Once a Teja, ever a Teja.


C 132: Rahul Jaimini (Bundelkhand ki Jaan) (And hence the pic of a bundelkhandi kisaan with white hair)


Popular nicknames: Dada, Jaimini

Quotable quotes
  1. Shivpuri se panga mat lo.
  2. Chhaliya chhaliya chhaliya (used by him as an effective retaliation against any kind of argument, often accompanied by vulgar hip movements)
  3. Subramanyam tell him!!!
He lives life on his own terms. The only problem is: his terms keep changing. Today he will have a nasty fight with you because you express your desire to do your Ph.D. from a foreign univ, and the very next day you find him standing in the line for visa form. He has seen a lot in his life, including hairfall and hair whitening. He is the only one amongst us who can say "ye baal maine dhoop mein safed nahin kiye hain", and mean every word of it. He has a lot of talent in a plethora of fields. I wish he'd start to use it. Iski aur luunga to muhje chhodega nahin... colgate ke members ko comments mein iski maarne ka khulla nimantran hai.


C 131: Avi Jain

Popular nicknames: Gora suar, gulaabo, jain saahab

Here is the only person in the wing who can carry off a pink t-shirt and a hello kitty backpack with ease. Actually, I think this might complete his look. He already has many of those qualities: a fairness level matches only by lux models, blonde hair (well, almost) and if you believe dada, he's got the whole package (well, well). Even in dramatics, he usually is offered with female roles (being a cute guy in a guy's hostel can be tricky). And on the rare occasions when he is actually offered a guy's role, the dialogues play cruel jokes with him (e.g.: I have raised a python upon my breast :P )

But he is pretty headstrong (Pretty and headstrong is apt too) and extremely hardworking, and I think he will go places in his life. Bas ek baat. bandi pata le yaar... logon ka shak khatm ho jaayega :)
Rest assured, one of the very few nice people left in this world.


Ab bas 5 bache... :)

11 comments:

Unknown said...

1. mast read :) and thanks for explaining the tgwtt type complex terms for the chhote log like me.
2. i haven't yet forgotten my rs. 10 I once gave to teja :( (and its still on money matters :p)
3. KILL JAIN

Anonymous said...

Tapas yaar I thought you were the only impartial one of our wing, but ye blog se tere character par kuch doubt aa raha hai..

1)Tiwari ki itni maara jab ki bechara aise hi norway mein jam raha hai

aur
2) AJ manhush ke description mein kuch bhi nahi. Saale ke kisse kahani likhne baithun to mera blog tere se bada ho jaayega

Please throw equal emphasis on all the characters :P

Anonymous said...

"tiwari ki modi bhi maar leta hai" - punchline of the post :P

the guy who typed this. said...

kudos to your descriptions, I especially loved the Asterix reference in Teja's description... and er...'Hello Kitty'?!?! Even considering that AJ is fairer than most of the fairer sex, I think slyly staring at breasts and saying 'Hello titty' is preferable than using that woodland critter inspired merchandise!

Anonymous said...

Modi machhar ki na maar paaye, tiwari ki kya maarega

Unknown said...

AKC aapke muh mein ghee shakkar.... :D

Unknown said...

abe lucky tera luck bhi tujhe nahi bacha sakta .... tu pahuch kgp...

The-one-who-thought-this said...

Saalon lauta dunga paise....Rs 200 ke liye wing ki baat bahar kar di...

shalini said...

Hi Tapas, This is Vaun(ur wingmate) fame Shalini. You truly have a gift for humorous writing. I enjoyed reading about ur jibes at ur friends and urself. Now do take pity on Varun as well and give him his moment of glory. Coz am looking forward to read ur description of him for sure.

thakur said...

mainen tera blog nahin padha hai...not the latest post...ye comment bas bhabhi ko pranam karne ke liye hai !


PRANAAM BHABHI !

The-one-who-thought-this said...

tapas ab blog complete karde...ab to special request bhi aa gayi...