The Duck Incident

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It looks like a duck. It walks like a duck. It quacks like a duck.

The responses:-

Average Joe: It is a duck.

A Symbolic Logic student: Saying that it is a duck will make a strong inductive argument.

Engineering Student: I think I will be able to answer you a night before the examination.

Doctor: Might be a duck. But since this is tter of life and death, I suggest you carry out these tests worth 50k-odd bucks on the found creature.

Lawyer: Since it looks, walks and quacks like a duck, it is very apparent that it is not a duck.

Australian: It is either a crocodile or a kangaroo, mayyte.

Restauranteur: Lemme check. If it is, indeed, a duck, I shall run a duck special on the menu today.

Bong Restauranteur: Aagaar daak (duck) hoga to kaal (kal) banega dada. Aaaj daak naaai hoga.

Bong Politician: Cholbe na! Eta Cholbe na! Daak pe atyachaar cholbe na! Strike korbo!!! Aamaara Red chair aur Loudspeakaar laao!!!

MJ: This question is eegnorant!

Chris Rocker (Britney Spears' fan): LEAVE THE DUCK ALONE!!! LEAVE IT ALONE!!! HOW CAN YOU DO THIS AFTER ALL THAT SHE HAS BEEN THROUGH? YOU ARE LUCKY SHE EVEN QUACKS FOR YOU!!!

Pamela Anderson: Well I don’t exactly knowwww what a duck is, but if it is an animal, and they are studying it, then this is cruelty. I shall design a nude campaign with PETA on this issue to save my plummeting popularity levels the poor ducks.

Dumb blonde (except Pamela Anderson): I personally believe that US Americans can not answer this question because some people out there in our nation do not have ducks. And we should help the ducks in countries such as the Iraq and in South Africa and everywhere like such as AND I feel that the ducks in the US should help the US or should help the Iraq and other Asian countries and hence.

Thakur: Dhachad Dhachad Dhachad

Vaibhhav Sinha: Dude! The ignominy of the promiscuity of the illicit nature of the citing of the said quadruped, coupled with your pusillanimity discernible from this act of showing incomprehensible interest in a creature of sub-human intelligence followed by presenting me with such a pathetic query showcases your inability to add 2 and 2 to come up with the correct answer of 4.75. (Intentional use of incomprehensible language? You bet! Dude scored 740 in GRE verbal section. Intentional calculation mistake? Right again!!! 740 in GRE quant section!!!This is something he still ReGREts) (Don't worry if the first few lines don't make sense to you. If you understand his statement completely, then it's probably not his statement to begin with.)

Chef Brian: Aah! A roster! The tomatoes of my brain are mighty pleased. WTF, you ask?Aah... the meaning of life! Mashed potatoes minus stale socks equals "The fuck". Learn.

KGP Prof (and I shit you not): We know that it is not a duck, but since we have to assume something, let us assume that it is a duck.

Haiku Writer: Duck or dog or goat / Unless it can eat you up / What's the friggin' point mate?