A CHIRKUT'S ATTEMPTS TO UNDERSTAND WOMEN..

They say that womes are from venus and men are from mars(normal version) / women are from venus and men are from a manhole situated on mars(women's version). Whatever the case, everyone atleast agrees upon two points:-
1. They are supposed to live at a planet's distance from each other, if not more.
2. None of them are supposed to be living on earth.

But this was not the case as we all can see. Male and female homo-sapiens have been living in a state of peaceful [ :P ] co-existence for millenia. And since the beginning, all men have been trying to understand the female of their species but all their efforts have failed miserably. This is so simply because no matter how simple it sounds, it is more difficult than erecting an equal-sized pyramid by the side of the bloody hugest one in Egypt. Infact, there are probably only two things that seem more difficult than this. They are(In increasing order of IMPROBABLILITY OF OCCURENCE):-
1. Earning enough in a lifetime to buy a 5,000 square feet bunglow in mumbai city.
2.Getting the insti diro to improve his accent into a conjecturable one(i bet he won't ever even give the APAAR-E-CHOO-NEE-TEE to anyone).

But everybody makes an attempt(not at the diro thing... anybody wud probably commit suicide rather than trying to understand what he says) to understand girls. Though the initiation step in any research(getting to know the subject well) is damn difficult in this case, because for this, we need to talk to girls. And in most cases(ok, atleast in mine), whenever i decide to talk to a girl and go in front of her, my tongue simply sticks to the dental roof and just refuses to let go. Finally I end up making a noice like I'm retarded or something(some girls have even remarked- poor guy! ). So you see, it's not easy. Hence I have to depend upon other people's knowledge in my thesis(which, in fact, is the case with every other thesis).

And though I know that I've failed in doing this, I've found out that the basic difference is that of outlook. I am listing some examples here:-

* If a girl comes up and talks to a guy, she is plainly interested in exchange of words and innocent conversation.
If a guy goes and talks to a girl, he's flirting.

* If a girl is looking at a guy from the corner of her eyes, she is analysing him/ trying to remember if she recognises him and has met him somewhere.
If a guy looks at a girl through the corner of his eyes, he is staring/ gazing/ eyeballing/ leeching.

* Suppose a girl and a guy are good friends.
While talking, if the guy says I love you(by the way, I think friends are supposed to love each. Isn't it) , he is trying to take the relationship to the next level/ taking undue advantage of the girl's friendship/ misinterpreting her jovial nature/ doesn't deserve to talk to the girl again.
If the girl says so, she loves him as a brother/ she values his friendship/ she is actually in love/ has said so simply out of pity for the guy/ it was just a slip of tongue.

* Suppose a guy and a girl are in love with each other.
If the girl doesn't propose, it's so because a girl is not supposed to do so. If she does, she is courageous/ gutsy/ (add other adjectives)....
If a guy proposes, he is insensitive/ it's not the right time/ it's an initial stage of the relationship. If he doesn't, he's Mr.No-Balls.

*If this guy gives the girl a gift, it is expensive/cheap/ impersonal/ irrelevant/ she simply doesn't like it. If he doesn't he's a cheap-o-saurus and values money more than the girl.
If a girl gives a gift, it's gotta be great. If she doesn't, it ain't the gift that matters, it's her feelings towards him that do.

And since I'm finishing off, the last distinction has to come now.
* Had a girl written this article about boys, it would have been 'a simple attempt by a glorious creation of the almighty to understand another wonderful creation', and the girl would have been 'a sweet female just exercising her right for expression and showing her curiosity over the highly interesting nature of human relations'.

But since I've written it, it is simply an insane good-for-nothing blog, andI'm an insensitive bugger, a disrespectful moron and a chauvinist pig!!!